.oO(Sometimes I blur the edges.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 06 July 2009: Someday. I'm tired of having emotional breakdowns. I'm tired of letting little things bother me. I'm tired of bottling things up in order to feel like I have some sort of control over my reactions, then exploding when I drink. I'm tired of being 'that girl'. I'm tired of anxiety. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of complaining. I'm tired of waiting. I want to be there. I have to learn how to maintain better control over my emotional state. I need to find another outlet, something other than crying. I need to discuss things that bother me in a ration way - and stop keeping it inside until I lose control and come undone. Some day, Diary, I will learn how to be more calm, more collected. Rational. I've been saying it for years - eventually it will happen. I can't lose faith in myself, and I also can't continue letting my petty insecurities build up the way they have been. I'm packing today. Soon. Soon this chapter finally will end, and the next will begin. THAT makes me happy. -Lisa. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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