.oO(Sometimes I blur the edges.)

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22 April 2009: I should probably be embarassed.

I am usually drunk when I update here, so I can't remember if I mentioned Twilight. Here's a basic overview of how my life has become useless:

I saw Twilight-mania happening around me, and refused to buy into the fanaticism of characters/storylines of a movie based on books for teenagers - then I found out it was vampires. I stayed strong in my resolve after the movie was released, and despite how many times some friends went to see it, I refused. Completely. I resisted the peer pressure of seeing the movie, and resisted reading the books... even after it all came out on DVD. I was determined to NOT get drawn in to teenage love affairs and drama - even IF it was with vampires (and you all know how weak I am for them, anyway). I knew I would get obsessive, so I resisted. One night when I went to visit Sara (ie: have drinks, etc), she put it in... because I was already catching my buzz, I figured I could watch it.

The van scene. The stupid, fucking van scene.

I was sold. Afterward, I came home and bought the books. They were delivered yesterday afternoon, and in just over thirty-six hours, they have been completed. Luckily for me, my life is undergoing certain events that are exceedingly stressful, but leave me pretty clear schedules. The movie should be delivered soon, as well.

I just finished the last book, actually. I read the first through third book within eighteen hours, slept for a while (I actually slept through my alarms), and finished the fourth book (since I started it before I went to sleep). I woke up sometime around 8pm last night... and it's 6am now... and I can't decide whether I want to sleep now or restart it all again. Now that I know what happens, I can read more casually to pick up the details - when I initially read a new book, my mind becomes so drawn in that I can't slow down my reading, craving what happens next. I don't think I can really give a fair review yet - but I have my basic opinions formed:

1) Bella basically annoys me. I like that she is strong-willed, sometimes - but it seems she chooses to argue at the wrong times, and about the wrong things. I almost hate how self-sacrificing she is, partially because it makes some situations worse... but also because no one is really so compassionate and focused on the happiness of others that they can be so completely unaware of their surroundings or the effects that it will actually have on others.

2) The High-School social system. Generally, if you were awkward in a larger school, you will still be seen the same in a smaller school - I know this.
a) She basically stops speaking to her friends once she and Edward become 'a couple' (this is more defined in second or third book - I'm having trouble separating some of the story lines into the appropriate books). At the same time, I am not really that surprised, since the Cullens are supposedly outcasts, anyway - or at least not really spoken to. In the movie it's made to seem like they keep themselves separate because they are full of themselves, but in the books it seems more like they just accept being treated differently. If you start dating someone who is not socially-included, then of course you will become excluded.
b) Her friends (Jessica, Lauren, etc) get angry that she starts spending more time with the Cullens, and basically ostracize her - but the fact that she considered them friends and that they considered her such a good friend in such a short amount of time that it matters is somewhat off. When you move to a new school, you generally meet a lot of people who are really nice and you make fast friendships, but as the time goes on, you can filter out those who are not really friends and those who are. If she had done that, she would have realized sooner that Jessica would turn into such a bitch. Blah. Maybe I've just been out of High School long enough to reflect on things like this.

3) Jacob Black is a asshole. He seems nice and everything in the first book, but throughout the others, he lost my favor. As his character developed, I lost taste for him altogether... he would be a jerk nearly always, and when he had the chance to redeem himself, he would generally do something else terrible. I had hope, in the fourth book, that he would be completely redeemed - but it wasn't until the very end that he was. I find it annoying how he seemed to find way to either manipulate her or cause her more problems just to get his way.

4) I don't like how the family dynamics were presented - but since I only know my own, really, I won't go into my opinions on it.

5) Edward Cullen is dreamy. I don't just mean that he is attractive, or enchanting... I mean that he is a dream. Very attractive, very compassionate, very protective, very intelligent, very humorous, very... mm. He is basically everything I've wanted in a man (including immortal). The way that he is so protective of her, always showing up at the appropriate time to save her. The way he fights his own desires and instinct, to the point of physical and emotional pain. The way he is self-depreciating. God, what I wouldn't give to have one.

That is all I can think of right now, because I am sleepy. I think I'll start reading them through again (because I am addicted and they feed the vampire fantasy that I've been refining since I was young). I am not looking forward to the point when I have to accept that there is no man like him in existence. It almost seems like a slap in the face to read about a character who is what I've dreamt of (down to being unable to stay away from her, and having the overwhelming desire to protect her... and, you know. Dark hair and fair skin... and, well. Is a vampire)... knowing that even those who have been the best to and for me are not capable of being that perfect for me. If it had been written about me, however, Edward would have had a girlfriend already - whether he cared for me or not. That is usually how my life goes.

So. Yeah. Laugh it up. At least I've finally stopped watching Tombstone on repeat (although I did still dream about Doc Holliday last night).

Have a great day! I hope to be done swooning by the end of the week.

=) Lisa.

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My Life... then and now.